Playing Nice--Growing up as Girls and Boys

The blog post from the Title IX website about the prosecution of a University of Colorado football player for sexual assault, and the context of the other sexual assaults from other Colorado football players in year’s past, raised some questions in me that correlate with the Messner reading we read earlier. This post talks about how the University of Colorado was almost forced to take steps to punish the former football player because of previous strikes against him personally, and because the football program at Colorado has had a history of sexual assaults to young women, most notably one two female students who were harassed in 2001 at a football recruiting party. After just re-reading the Messner article, and then stumbling upon this post from January 14th, it really got me thinking about how what we learn as young kids translates into how we act as young adults and into our adult lives. The scenario the Messner presented at the beginning of his piece talked about how 4 and 5 year old boys were taunting 4 and 5 year old girls for their Barbie float they made for a soccer parade. When they were not being heard by the girls, they began using body language to get their point across, running at the girls and forcing them to listen. Parents eventually broke it up, but not before they allowed the boys to continuously taunt the young girls. I would be curious to find out if this type of behavior, and the fact that the parents recognized how different boys and girls are, translates into the behavior we see with sexual harassment and assault of college students. Football players at large university have the stereotype of being the big shots on campus, and essentially being able to get away with a lot. Does this mindset that they possibly learned at a young age force them to think they should have whatever they want when they want it, even if it means using physical force to get it? I think it could be easily tied to the fact that boys in some cases have been taught to feel superior to girls, and therefore cloud what is right and wrong in their minds. In my own experiences as a girl, I have always been proud to “beat a boy,” but a lot of times was taunted for it. I will never forget when I was in 1st grade and I beat a 2nd grade boy in a race on the playground while wearing a dress. I remember feeling elated that I had just out-run not only a boy, but an older boy. Yet I was somewhat made fun of because when I was running, my dress flew up a few times, and that wasn’t ladylike according to my girl friends. It is sad to know that even at such a young age, praise for beating a boy at something did not come without some expense. I think that this can translate to the issue of sexual harassment in college and the idea that we are taught from the time we are even just 4 years old how boys and girls are supposed to act and who has the upper hand. These ideas are taught separately, whether you’re a boy or a girl, and can lead to the wrong ideas about how to treat one another and play nice.