the idea of "family/family-oriented" and negative recruiting

Upon reading the Title IX blog posted on Thursday over the effects of negative recruiting and homophobia in women’s basketball, a few ideas and questions crossed my mind. The blog gave credit to ESPN The Magazine for publishing a profile on the role of homophobia in recruiting. Upon reading a young players recount of her recruiting experience at Iowa State and how the term “family-oriented” was used as a punch line in the process of homophobic recruiting, I was first unable to make the connection. Many coaches and players feel the need to stress their team as something much more than a team, but rather a family. Being a former and current athlete, I find this integral in team sports. The meaning behind family for me and many others is one of many deeply rooted emotions. For instance, in High School football, our team slogan was a simple acronym. TLCBF stood for Trust, Love, Commitment, Belief, and Faith. This was centered on the idea of all members of the team having all of these emotions or respects for the players and coaches around you, and relying on them in times of struggle both on and off the field. I thought to myself, “How in anyone’s right mind would they see the idea of a family as something with a negative connotation? “ It was after re-reading the article and blog post that I realized the differentiating viewpoints of myself being a male athlete and a college women’s basketball recruit. The idea that the lesbian variety of negative recruiting is unique to women’s basketball becomes a focal point in this discussion. When combining this with the idea of family, the question became clear; “What would the idea of a culturally stereotypical family look like in the eyes of someone of the LGBT community?” Obviously when dissecting the idea of exactly what a family atmosphere consists of, people’s views will be different. It’s simple enough for me to assume that my rash disagreement with this article stemmed from my small town, very conservative middle class upbringing. Going back to thinking about what exactly a coach is suggesting in his recruiting pitch, the term “family-oriented” can most definitely be seen as portraying the team in question as one that supports the hetero-normative or stereotypical idea of family in today’s society. Because of this, it’s easy to see exactly why a lesbian player would easily be turned away indirectly. I’d also like to point out that I still believe family is an integral part of team sports, but there is a difference on how you sell being a family to your players. As a coach, it’s your responsibility to make unbiased and fair decisions regarding all aspects of your team and for a coach like Iowa State’s Bill Fennelly to insist “family-oriented” as a staple of their program not only turns away possible LGBT recruits, but also suppresses current team members. Regardless if this is intentional or not, it’s not how you mean to portray it, its how others perceive it.